In which I explain SEX to my 4 year old

We're driving home last week and about halfway into our hour long drive, I hear Nona from the back seat

"Mom, what does the S word mean?"

Nona has a tendency to shorten words that make her feel uncomfortable, or words that she thinks she might get into trouble for using. So, at first, I wasn't sure which S word she was talking about. So, I asked her, which one? She tells me, "the private one".

In less than a second, a multitude of scenarios run through my head. There was the 'just skim over it all and promise her details when she's older' one, I think most parents would have gone this route. But I knew this wouldn't satisfy my Nona. And knowing that girl, she either would have erroneously filled in the blanks herself, or found someone to erroneously fill them in for her.

So, we had the talk.

I told her about erections, and orgasms, and love and lust.

You might think this is a bit heavy for a 4 year old. But what is bad about sex? What about it needs to be hidden? It's not bad, just private. And thanks to a faulty door lock, my kids aren't strangers to it either.

Now, I didn't use all the big words I listed above, I think she would have just tuned those out, and I don't really want to have these talk all that often, so I said things like 'feels good', and 'gets big'. And yeah, it was awkward. But thanks to me driving and her sitting behind me, it wasn't a face to face conversation, which I think made it more honest for me and her.

And now Nona, and Paul who was listening also, know how babies are made.

And why.